Mind Over Matter & Conquering The Fear of Quitting Smoking

Are you afraid to quit smoking?  Recently someone told me that they're scared of not smoking.  So that got me thinking, if there's one, then there's got to be at least a few more gazillion smokers out there who (whether they know it or not) have some fear about quitting. 

So, if you don't have time right now to read this blog in it's entirety, let me give it to you in a nut shell:  being afraid of not smoking is a normal and perfectly reasonable response by your body and your brain who is currently chemically dependent on nicotine.  At this point in time, nicotine is considered and looked upon by your body in the same way as water.  Meaning you got to have it.  That's scary!

Now into the nitty-gritty.  The beauty of your humanity is that we humans have the ability to have a 3rd person experience of ourselves.  Meaning we can "take a look at our self."  Looking at yourself from an outsiders point of view is great because even though our instinct and ego are now convinced that we need cigarettes and nicotine like we need water, we can look at ourselves from a third person perspective and realize that it is not true.  With that knowledge from our higher awareness we can now start to transition our mind into a place of thinking and believing that we don't need to smoke to survive.

Another aspect of smoking is that the cigarette becomes a friend and part of the family.  Smoking very quickly gets ritualized into our daily life.  Cigarette with morning coffee, after work, after a good meal, after good sex, after bad sex, while driving, etc.  You've got your own little smoking rituals that enhance a moment or brings peace to chaos.  The cigarette is your friend and always there when you need it.

The relationship you have with you and your cigarette is also unfortunately an incredibly dysfunctional relationship.  Clearly, this relationship will not end well.  You're slowly killing yourself.  It's an abusive relationship.  Odds are pretty freaking good, you're NOT going to make it to 100 like granny over here.  If you're going to hit 100, you're literally going to have to "break up" with cigarettes. 

So you'll have some common fears.  Fears of being alone, fears of being looked at weird by your peers, fears of failure, etc.  What are your fears?  There are plenty and they are unique to you but they are there none the less.

 

Be strong and go anyway!  How????????????  Simple.  Mind over matter.  Keep in mind, simple does not mean easy.  Case in point, look at Benedikt Magnusson here.  He's going to deadlift 1015 pounds.  Let me say that again, One Thousand And Fifteen Pounds.  How??????  Mind over matter.  Yes, he's competed in  The Worlds Strongest Man and is a professional strong man and power lifter so he is very strong.  But watch how he gets ready for this pull.  See his determination, commitment, focus?  Look at the "crazy" in his eyes.  And then look how gently and smoothly the weight rises off the ground.  He had to conquer the weight in his mind before he could conquer it with his body. 

So goes it for you, the soon to be "smoker who doesn't smoke."  In my book How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone, you will see how it is far better to just stop than to try to quit.  You'll begin to understand how to talk yourself into it and then right on through it.  You'll find out how to kick the habit and not loose one ounce of your identity. 

Finally, you'll begin to recognize that you deserve more and you deserve better. 

Smoke Your Mind and Napoleon Hill Wisdom

In my book, How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone, I talk about one of the motivating factors for me to stop smoking. It came when I realized I was out of control. There comes a time after about 6 and half hours or so without a cigarette when you realize that if you don't have a cigarette and like right now, someone very well might get hurt. Granted I am slightly exaggerating but the nic-fit is real.

It soon began to bother me to be under Big-Tobacco's spell so powerfully. I got started smoking as a way to separate myself from others, to flaunt and solidify my identity. Or at least so I thought. The reality was in no time instead of being the individual I wanted to be I was just like everyone else... hooked. Smoking lost it's romance for me and it was time to kick the habit.

I thought of this moment in my life in late 2001 when I realized smoking wasn't all it's cracked up to be... or rather, it's more like crack than you think. I thought of this moment when I saw this quote from Napoleon Hill

"Control your own mind, and you may never be controlled by the mind of another.

The mind is the most powerful weapon known to man. It simply cannot be controlled or contained by an outside force, however formidable that force may at first appear. Throughout history, tyrants have tried to control those who opposed them, but eventually these rulers discovered the power of the imagination was far greater than the threat of the sword. As Victor Hugo said, "An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come."

Big Tobacco, like any good drug dealer has control of your mind and directs your thoughts towards one more cigarette. It is with this mind, such a powerful weapon indeed, that you will conquer your addiction to nicotine and cigarettes.

Your mind is the best tool for meeting the challenge to stop smoking. You can use a patch, chew the gum, tinker with water vapor cigarettes, and any other nicotine delivery device you can think of, but sooner or later it will boil down to you making a conscious decision with your mind to not light up.


I used my mind to stop smoking and you can to.  In fact, you will have to.  My mission now it to get my book into the hands of 5000 smokers who want to be non smokers.  


So if you found this blog and you're still smoking, or you think you've quit but feel yourself wavering and loosing control, consider this, I, like you, struggled through the process and found a way to not only stop, but stay stopped.  Perhaps destiny or God brought you here and perhaps you should give this book a read.  I will leave it up to you of course, but deciding to finally stop once and for all could very well be the best decision you've ever made...  next to deciding to get a copy of my book!

Smoked Salmon Another Reason to Stop Smoking

Smoked Salmon Another Reason to Stop Smoking

Another Hub from above that I've written to inspire and encourage smokers to knock off the smoking habit once and for all.  I found a way and you can too!  Take a look at the video to promote the Hub too...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vflXTR-EzbQ

Then let me know what you think!

Another Gem From Napoleon Hill

Your Job Will Never Be Any Bigger 

Than Your Imagination Makes It
 
Daniel Burnham, the turn-of-the-century architect and civic planner whose plan for the 1893 Chicago World's Fair had an enormous influence on contemporary civic design, was quoted as saying, "Make no little plans." He knew that to achieve great things we must have grand ideas. If you can imagine it, you can create it. And if you can create in your imagination the job that you would like to have, it is possible to create it in the real world.

OK people, what does this have to do with not sucking on coffin nails?

An open letter to all

BELOW IS AN EMAIL I SENT.  NOW, HERE ON THE BLOG, I ASK YOU TO DO WITH IT AS YOU SEE FIT.

Dear Friends and Family,

I trust most of you know, I have written my first book.  How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone.  In this book are the tools, tricks, actions, and behaviors that were vital in helping me kick the habit in 2002.  It chronicles my story and experience as a smoker becoming a non-smoker.  How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone, then shows how anyone can use the same tools and techniques I used to stop smoking to successfully stop themselves.

Why are you receiving this email?

In a nutshell, I need your help.

As I started 2011, I set a goal for myself to sell 5000 copies of this book by or before 12/31/11.  I picked that number because I read somewhere that most books that get published never sell more than 5000 copies.  "Well, not me" I thought!  "I'll sell 5000 in a year!"  Puffed up chest and all!

As time went on, I started blogging more and more about not smoking.  I continued doing more and more research into smoking, addiction, getting "clean" and seeing the consequences of smoking and smoking addiction.  Suddenly my goal began to change.  Actually, it began to evolve.  I started this book with the intention to share my story, have a few laughs and hopefully make some money.

Things have changed for me.

I still want to share my story and I definitely want to have a few laughs.  But putting all of that aside for a second, what I really want to do is to empower smokers.  5000 to be exact.  5000 this year to be more specific.  I want to empower smokes to stop smoking.  Cigarettes are a cruel bitter sweet dysfunctional relationship that will eventually lead to checking out of this life way sooner than necessary.   Cigarettes in my opinion are a passive aggressive form of suicide and if that's too "heavy" for you than at least acknowledge that if you're smoking daily, you're self medicating for something.

I genuinely want to help others stop.  Smokers need healing, tough love, and motivation.  It's time to kick the habit.  It's time to love yourself a little more than you did yesterday and it's time to pass this email forward.

That's what I need your help with.  You can breathe easy, there will be NO pass this on or else curse!

Do you know a smoker?  Do you know someone who knows a smoker?  Is there a loved one in your life that needs this book? 

I'm looking to get 5000 people this year to make a small investment in the quality of the rest of their lives.  How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone, is not preachy.  There will be a few in your face moments, but keep in mind, I bill myself as a smoker who doesn't smoke.  If you're a smoker, know that I speak your language and this book is for you.  Know that you don't have to give up any part of yourself or your identity to stop smoking. 

My father wrote something interesting in the forward of the book that says we all "smoke" something.  So for those of you non-smokers with a habit that needs kicking, this book may come in handy as well...

So, if you're receiving this email, know that all I'm asking you to do is forward this on to the people you know who may benefit from reading this book.  I think it goes without saying you're welcome to get a copy for yourself, but what's most important to me right now is to find a way to get my book between the fingers of 5000 smokers this year.   Then, I want those 5000 smokers to accept my challenge to "stop, but don't quit."

Thank you for taking the time to read this and a double thank you in advance for deciding to help me help others...

Sincerely,

David R. Bradley 
THE WEBSITE:  http://www.stopdontquit.com/

What does this have to do with not smoking?

"Before opportunity crowns you with great success, it usually tests your mettle through adversity.

Adversity provides the resistance necessary to develop the strength to overcome great obstacles. This strength consists of self-confidence, perseverance, and, very importantly, self-knowledge. For if you do encounter a setback, it is a clue to a personal weakness. You may have been hasty in judging a competitor, or you may have been too timid in your vision of what needed to be done. Let adversity be your guide to understanding where you mis-stepped and which qualities you need to cultivate. No one rejoices in disappointment, but if you are success-conscious, you can turn the situation into a chance for improving your character, an opportunity you otherwise would have missed ."

 So this little gem was in my inbox this morning and it came from the Napoleon Hill Foundation.  Napoleon Hill for those of who don't know was a student of success.  He studied and wrote about success.  His book Think And Grow Rich has sold a gazillion copies world wide.  I myself have a pretty beat up copy in my bookcase.  Originally written in 1937 when there was a tremendous need for successful minded people and also the need in this country to take charge of each one's prosperity.

But this is a blog about not smoking.  Where are we going with this?  The challenge to not smoke is your opportunity.  Being smoke free for a given period of time is your success.  You will be tested.  True success comes only to those who are worthy of it, meaning they have earned it.

This is why I support the cold turkey.  Yes, you may have medications, gums, and patches that will help you not smoke, but all you're really doing is exchanging one nicotine delivery device for another.  Sooner or later you will have to go cold turkey.  That is success testing your mettle. 

Other adversities will include daily life.  Jerks on the road, stress at work, relationship issues, money issues, the list of adversities goes on and on.  When you accept the challenge to stop smoking, you will be tested and challenged.  Success will be knowing you powered through it all.

But don't go it alone!  Arm yourself with the equipment you need to succeed.  Try my book, How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone.  It is loaded with tools, tips, sage advice, stories and wisdom that will give you the motivation and equipment need to finally kick the habit once and for all!

What Kind of Smoker Are You: The Reply

 As you know this blog is the spin off/continuation of my book, How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone.  The other day, I get an email with an opening paragraph that said this:

Hey... so I wrote a reply to your article but apparently it's too long LOL... The system won't post it because I have too many characters. I figured instead of rewriting it or scratching it altogether I'd just send it to you direct, do with it what you will.  :-)

The article/blog was called What Kind of Smoker Are You?  In it is an examination of smoker types.  I sent this one out to a few friends who I know to be smokers and non-smokers, looking for additional insight.  One reply that followed was worthy of a blog of it's own...  and apparently too long to be just a "comment."  So without further to-do, allow me to present the "comment" in it's entirety.



In the spirit of this article I decided to make a list of typical smoking times/places to see if I could find my own patterns.

-Doing homework
-Reading
-After a movie
-After a TV show
-With coffee
-With alcohol
-While on the phone
-During lunch- in fact, my lunch break became an hour long smoke break where I could usually get between 3-4 of them in and I’d just run through Del Taco on my way home in the evening instead of actually eating lunch on my break.
-The drive into work
-The drive home from work
-Watching the sunset/rise
-While at the beach- I was deeply offended by the no smoking laws on the beach that were enforced recently…
-If I was sad, if I was angry, if I was happy…

I was never afraid to quit but the honest truth of it is I like to smoke. I like the feeling of it, the heat, the fire of it, the draw and the weight deep in the hidden corners of my lungs being filled with a long drawn breath, the resistance of it and the essential quiet that comes with it- taking that moment to breathe deeply, exhale deeply… there’s nothing like it.

I didn't really have a pattern and I don't think I'm really a 'type'. I found all sorts of excuses in positive situations and negative. Mostly negative, though because smoking veiled all the bad things, glorified them in a fog, turned horrible situations into romantic ones. A break up- once a bitter angry moment suddenly becomes a scene right out of a movie. The death of a loved one- horrible and shocking, becomes a quiet moment of reflection where once again, you can cut and paste it directly into any number of films. Smoking becomes an extension of the personality, it becomes a gesture, a facial expression, it’s own words and sentences. Sometimes smokers don’t even need to speak, it’s all in the way you hold it, the way you take the drag, the way you exhale is a conversation and only those in your private world can understand you.

As far as the list goes, I was a recreational smoker, an emotional smoker, a coffee and cigarettes diet smoker, a situational smoker and well, the alcoholic smoker was omnipresent throughout all those others. I was also a spiritual smoker- after tarot readings, using it instead of food to “come down” afterward, hell I have even been known to use the smoke from my clove instead of sage to cleanse a space for readings from time to time. 

Because I only smoked cloves, I felt sort of… above the influence. I didn’t smoke “regular” cigarettes so I felt that I was immune to the issues of smokers. I didn’t think I was addicted. Yeah, I know how that sounds. I really didn’t. I thought, I smoke because I like to, not because I have to. I thought that until I decided to “quit.” Only then did I learn how much of a smoker I actually was.

I am a smoker. About 10 years before I started smoking, someone once told me I was destined to smoke because I was a pyro. So yeah, I had a thing for the flame, candles, incense, and firelight on an open hearth, a camp fire with burning coals shining like priceless jewels in some lost Arabian treasure. The idea that something so gentle and brilliant could also in the same instant be painfully destructive and deadly was fascinating to me. So yeah, I love the romanticism of firelight in any form, the historical, time travelling, deliciously romantic feeling of it in any form. It only made sense to want to consume it, to become it and smoking is as close as anyone can get to fire without it burning.
Such a romantic, aren’t I? Except it does burn. That was sort of what I liked about it. When I was depressed, the burn of the smoke in my body felt like a cleansing veil, consuming the pain, consuming me… then you add Mr Daniels to that little party and its self-destruction on cloud nine, all the time, baby.

A clove and a mocha, sunset and a book and it’s a picture worthy of recording. Or with a glass of red wine, with a Jack and coke or just the Jack… there are a thousand ways to pair it I could write a book on ways to make your cigarette more tasty! LOL… 

The point is, I didn’t quit. 

I came to terms with the fact that I am a smoker. Through a long history of falling for smokers and drinkers, those damn romantic boys with the silver tongues, scotch in one hand and a smoke in the other… heh… yeah, I’m always gonna be a smoker and a special place in my heart will always exist for the persona that just as you said, lives and glorifies the romanticism of the act. 

I stopped smoking because I wanted kids. I wanted them to be healthy and live in a home that was healthy. I won’t hide the fact that I used to smoke to them, in fact I’m sure I’ll be blatantly honest with them about it in hopes that they can learn from it. I can’t call it a mistake, but I can call it a lesson.
It’s been almost a year now- January 8th, in fact… And yeah, there are moments I want it, oooh man do I want it… I still have two sealed cartons of smuggled in cloves (after they were banned from the US I ordered them online) in my freezer. Will I ever take them out? Heh, I have no idea.

I completely agree with the chemical aspect, the psychology is hands down irrefutable. I read an article during my studies in psychology about children with ADHD growing up to become smokers and how this correlation is highly understated. Nicotine calms the brain, even as it stimulates it. We are self medicating even when we don’t realize it. The basic idea was backed up in my bio-psych class where it stated the part of the brain affected by nicotine is the same part that is stimulated while with loved ones. If we’re depressed or otherwise psychologically damaged, we are replacing real love with cigarettes. It’s a pretty easy concept but you’d be surprised how many people think I’m nuts when I tell them… 

Anyway, a lot of truth exists in the concept of these many types of smoker, but ultimately if we don’t deal with our demons, we will never allow ourselves to move away from smoking. Also, on the subject of demons… people try to give the cigarette a personality. It’s a demon, pressing on our will power. It’s got a grip on us. No, silly.. you have a grip on your will power and you’re not ready to make the move. When we can admit that, we’re one step closer to putting them down.

Ok that’s all I have to say. LOL… sorry for the rant and thanks for the article!

And thank you for the reply!  If you enjoyed this comment/rant and would like more, please check out Ishtar's Web.  And if you too have a comment that is too long for posting, please email it to me at thepuravidacompany@gmail.com and I will see to it that your thoughts are made known.  As always, this blog is also a forum for you the reader and smoker to clear the air (so to speak) and over come addictions, fight compulsion, and eliminate the bad habits that keep us from our dreams and goals.

Anxiety Makes Quitting Smoking Harder

I recently stumbled upon this article:

http://fyiliving.com/depression/anxiety-makes-quitting-smoking-harder/

Sometimes, the blog finds you...

This article covers a study by the Center for Tobacco Research and Intervention where 1500 smokers were analyzed.

You can read the study here:  http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1360-0443.2010.03173.x/abstract

What grabbed me most was this, "To understand the relations among anxiety disorders and tobacco dependence, withdrawal symptoms, response to smoking cessation pharmacotherapy and ability to quit smoking."

Pharmacothera...  what?

Pharmacotherapy:  the treatment of disease through the administration of drugs.

OH!  That!  When you see big words like that, feel free to get a little anxious.  I know I always do.  In fact, I'm thinking about reaching for a smoke right now I'm so anxious!

But I digress, really.  Here's the deal, some folks went out to answer the question, "If you suffer from anxiety AND smoke cigarettes, will it be harder to quit?"

Their findings:  "Anxiety diagnoses were common among treatment-seeking smokers and were related to increased motivation to smoke, elevated withdrawal, lack of response to pharmacotherapy and impaired ability to quit smoking. These findings could guide treatment assignment algorithms and treatment development for smokers with anxiety diagnoses."

This leaves me with one major question:  Who in the #%&* funded this?  Are you serious?  Is this some kind of joke?  Can you say no brainer?  I can.  If I was 11 years old the phrase "no-duh" would be ringing out load and proud!

So, just so we're clear here, not only is smoking getting put into the disease category instead of the disease CAUSING category, it is now official that if you've been anxious for a while and you smoke, then quitting is going to be a bitch.

Dude, quitting is already a bitch!  As if I wasn't anxious enough, now you're telling me withdrawals will be elevated, no motivation, and what's all this pharmaco-whatever talk? 

Look, I won't hide it, I've suffered from anxiety my whole life.  Why do you think I started smoking?  At least the real reason.  The subtext of it all...  suddenly that nicotine relaxed me.  Evened out my brain chemistry or at least covered up the feelings.  Why do people become alcoholics?  Drug Addicts?  Self-Medication is a prime factor.  Even if the soon to be addict isn't aware of it.  It's quite simple really.  The knots and butterflies, the nausea, the tight chest and diaphragm, the sensation that I might crap myself, all that stuff suddenly goes away when I have a cigarette and I can think clearer.  These thoughts process faster than a light going on so it never has time to fully register, but there it is.  Smoke this, feel better.  Self medication.
 

The article wraps up with this amazing insight:  "The results of this study demonstrate that habitual smoking may be caused by more factors than nicotine addiction."

Speaking of being 11 years old again and excuse the language, but a "no shit Sherlock!" is the only appropriate comment here.

Look folks, especially the ones still making the decision to continue smoking, smoking is a decision you make every time you light up.  In my book, How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone, I contend that for most people, especially if you, like me, suffer from anxiety disorder, it is impossible to quit.  So don't bother trying.  It is however, VERY possible to stop smoking.

After all that is the name of this blog...  stop, don't quit.  For more on that, you'll have to read the book.  Yes, I am in this for the money!  Not really, I'm kidding...  sort of.  What I am in it for, more than anything,  is to help people make the decision to stop smoking and to give themselves the permission they need to love themselves just enough to finally knock this passive aggressive from of suicide off once and for all.


I find it disturbing that someone needed "scientific evidence" to establish a "treatment algorithm" for smokers with anxiety disorder.  I don't think a word like that should be anywhere near a discussion about treatment for individuals.  It's too sterile for me.  Then again, I'm not a scientist.  I'm too left brain for any of that.


Anyway, there's my 2 cents on that.  This blog was intended to seriously analyze the study and the article but as I kept reading the article and the study I found it near impossible to take it seriously and while smoking cessation is serious and should not be taken lightly, this article to me, gives too much power to nicotine and cigarettes and diminishes the human spirit and human potential to overcome a condition.  Especially a condition (nicotine addiction) one imposed on them self.

TODAY'S EXCELLENT FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

"Do not wish to be anything but what you are." 

~St. Francis de Sales.     

 

This is very powerful for those of you still on the fence about whether or not you are going to stop smoking or for that matter break any habit.  Who are you?  How well do you know your self?

 

Give it some thought...  let me know what you think!

Stop Smoking with Oysters

Stop Smoking with Oysters

This is a Hub I wrote that goes with my book, How to Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone .  In it I'm going to take a look at handling the withdrawal phases and I'll also examine the value of growing pains.

 I found a CD set on Mantra's that I mention in the Hub and in this CD on Mantra's lies some very powerful and simple wisdom that became the chief inspiration and motivation for this Hub.

Take a look at it and let me know what you think...

Stop Smoking with Oysters