OK, so for those of you playing at home, I have sent two copies of my book, How To Stop Smoking Without Killing Anyone to the White House. Yes, the White House. In it was one copy for Obama and another for Senator and House Speaker, John Boehenr.
I sent it Delivery Confirmation and here's where we're at so far:
"We attempted to deliver your item at 11:20 am on February 06, 2011 in WASHINGTON, DC 20500 and a notice was left because an authorized recipient was not available. You may arrange redelivery by visiting www.usps.com/redelivery or calling 800-ASK-USPS, or may pick up the item at the Post Office indicated on the notice. If this item is unclaimed after 15 days then it will be returned to the sender. Information, if available, is updated periodically throughout the day. Please check again later."
I've been "checking back later" all week now and getting this same message. And now I'm smacked with this article from Yahoo.
"Michelle Obama confirms president has quit smoking"
Son-of-a...!!! Now does this mean all hope is lost? No way, because even though the title is interesting enough to get people to read it, it's the meat and potatoes of the article that is most valuable. The best part is the comment from recipient number two, John Boehner which I'll get to in a minute.
Has Obama actually quit? Well, I hope not. That makes more since when you've read my book. Clearly, here you'll see a prime example of someone who's trying to quit (which I contend is impossible to do so don't bother trying) and consistently falls off the wagon.
"Have I fallen off the wagon sometimes? Yes," Obama said in June 2009. "Am I a daily smoker, a constant smoker? No."
Now check out Robert Gibbs!
"This past December, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said he hadn't witnessed Obama smoke in nine months, but didn't confirm outright whether the president had quit."
So does that mean Obama was seen running into the bushes behind the White House and came back with a distinct odor? Who knows really. Hell, if people are still leery about JFK and the moon landing, then you can pretty much bet the farm on Obama reaching across the aisle to bum a smoke off of Boehner once and a while.
And speaking of Boehner...
"Tobacco is a legal product in America," Boehner told CBS in an interview. "The American people have a right to decide for themselves whether they want to partake or not. There are lots of things that we deal with and come in contact with every day--from alcohol to food to cigarettes--a lot of the things that aren't good for our health. But the American people ought to have the right to make those decisions on their own."
A-F#$%&-ing Men Brother!
Preach the word, my man. This, I'm sure is exactly what George Washington and the rest of the founding fathers had in mind when they formed this great nation. The freedom to destroy ourselves any way we see fit!
"It's something that I choose to do, and you know at some point, maybe I'll decide I've had enough of it," What point will that be specifically? When you get winded going from your bed to the bathroom? When your phlegm has this brownish red tint? When there's a lump in your throat and your NOT about to cry?
Should tobacco be legal? Yes. But I'm also for legalizing marijuana too. Tobacco isn't the issue. Neither is Pot, Jack Daniel's or McDonalds. All addictive toxic substances. The Guv-a-mint does not need to involve themselves with individual rights when it comes to the freedom of choosing what goes into it's citizens body. This is about you, not the Gov.
You, the citizen have the right to smoke. Doesn't mean you should. You have the right to jump off a cliff too. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.
JUST STOP! DON'T QUIT! STOP! See the difference? No? Buy my book! Obama, read my book! Please! Then shove the other copy in Boehner's hand and make him read it. Here we have the leader of the free world and if said leader goes down and takes Biden with him, then Boehner's the leader of the free world! These men have an example to set and a message to deliver to the country, the free world and most importantly the people that look up to these men as leaders, the kids.
What message is that?
That even in a nation of freedom, opportunity and choice, I the individual choose to not smoke, I choose to respect and honor the body God gave me for this magnificent journey, and I choose to keep myself at a level of conditioning that will allow me to defend this great nation on a moments notice.
So, we'll keep checking at USPS.com. If you too want to track the package, the number is:
0310 1230 0001 5659 8314
Hopefully, if Obama has quit or stopped, then reading my book will only solidify his decision and God willing Boehner will get it. And when I say get it, I don't just mean my book.